Programmer. Rock Star. Homeowner.

It's been forever since I posted. I realize that.


I got married a while ago. It's mostly the same as when we were just living together, except that family seems to like us a lot more now. So does my healthcare provider. So does my auto insurance agent. For us, it's mostly the same, but I have to keep track of one more date every year.


I had what came dangerously close to a nervous breakdown a couple of months ago. At work, I was three months late on my Java re-develop of our project, and my co-developer was still blissfully unaware that any danger existed, my manager was threatening me with physical harm, and the very real possibility of losing my job was looming ever closer. I think a lot of my slowness had to do with demons closing in on my from every direction. We were slipping further into debt, and were officially outpaced by debt relative to what we make. What did I do about all this?


Nothing.


I vaguely put out more effort and coded furiously day and night, but not with the sense of urgency the situation direly needed. I didn't really believe that the project would ever reach completion, at least, not with me at the helm. I paid bills only as I could, and used the rest for survival. Then, a series of really strange events happened.


First, my manager quit.


The project got done on time, and our client wrote my division's VP about what a great job we did rolling it out. Complete 180 from the previous three months.


Second, the house sold itself.


We had a buyer, who wanted to take it, as is. She didn't want any paint on the walls, no carpet replaced, and no home inspection. We agreed on a price, and sold the fucker and moved within 12 days. At long last...the bills are all paid off.


We got an amazing apartment in Leesburg, which should really be called a condo, since it dwarfs the size of most condos. It's in a gated community, with pool, 24-hour access weight room, massage chairs, business-cafe kind of area, the works, all for an affordable sum per month. Finally, the salad days are here.


While getting our cars through the requisite Virginia state inspections, we decided to saunter over to the skate shop in the same shopping center as the inspection station, and before I knew it, we were being fitted for new hockey skates, and were sitting with our feet in freshly-baked skates, molding themselves to our feet. Sure beats the shit out of buying gear on eBay.


Man, this is nice. I feel some guilt about not having the weight of the world on my shoulders, but really, I guess this is really just what's been overdue for a long, long time. No more paycheck-to-paycheck action. No more sweating in the middle of the night because I don't know who to borrow money from to make ends meet for the month. We're a lot happier now than we've ever been, and it's all thanks to everything blowing over at once.


Now, it's time to take a nap. Seacrest out.

Hello there, bastards. As you saw in my last post almost 1.5 months ago, I'd gone on sabbatical of sorts. Though I'm not exactly reformed, I am more aware of the big picture, am far more productive, and rest easier knowing that my laziness is firmly under my control.

Speedy-like catch up of the past month's events:

1) Got Audible.com's audio-book of David Allen's Getting Things Done. Changed life.
2) Got no sleep the day before my rehearsal dinner.
3) Got married.
4) Honeymooned in Barrie, Ontario, CAN - changed life, further, ogled dream houses.
5) Cursed NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman on way back to States
6) Voted, then watched as Democracy and human rights once again take a back seat to corporate greed and selling of souls for $1000 child care tax credits.
7) Bought new roller hockey skates
8) Moved home theater to bigger room, renovation underway
9) Made commitment to renew Yoga practice, play hockey all the time.

The renovation is a big pile of suck right now because we're buying tons of furniture for the rest of the house as well...so pay bills, buy furniture. I should get a tax credit for boosting the GNP and single-handedly being responsible for helping to pay down war debt.

Mind like water,
T

I make the possible impossible. I am the procrastinator, the ruiner of good fortune, and the waster of opportunity.

I dig holes, and I sit in them with no intention of leaving. I squader, I pout, and I forget to solve problems whose solutions would put me back on top of the universe.

To that end, there are gonna be some changes. This "digging a hole" mentality stops now. Time to get physically, spiritually, and financially back in shape. i'm a 27-year-old in a 40-year-old's body.

See you on the other side.

-TC

Thanks for all the Phish > May 25, 2004 -- The day the day was announced the music would die. Phish is breaking up, right after they play Coventry in August of this year. I appreciate the band's commitment to keeping their craft pure; there's been no doubt in mind that, as the band gets more interesting musically, they've gotten less fun. Sure, I can sit in a smoking jacket, listening to the new Phish disc, swirl my Mountain Dew in its wine glass, and nod ever-so-slightly as a hook seems well-placed. Or, like at my first show in 1997, I can jump around and noodle dance like a stinky hippy when "Ghost" is played. The second is a fond Phish memory, one I'll cherish forever, even as my kids roll their eyes at Dad's retarded "old people" music.

Though I appreciate the band's decision, I can't help but think of this coming event as a transition like the one where the hobbits and Gandalf sail away at the end of Return of the King. You know they're doing the right thing, but the feeling of loss is almost crushing. This band's music was the soundtrack of my young adult life to present. As the band matured, so did I. Discovering "You Enjoy Myself" and "Simple" during the summer, using their live discs to test car stereo installations, listening to a 25-minute "Bathtub Gin" while studying for finals with Mike, putting on "The Story of the Ghost" for the first time with friends under a black light glow. Phish has always been around, proving constantly that music, intelligence, and humor can exist together.

As fans, we were able to trace the origins and development of new songs live, before they became studio pressings. Most often, we preferred the live versions, until "Billy Breathes" came out and blew us away with its tension and texture. "Free", off that disc, had perfect harmony singing amidst beautiful instrumentation. Live, however, I would cringe, considering the guys were rarely hormonizing right when playing the song; maybe it's just too tough to pull off, maybe it's too hard to hear the other voices on stage. For whatever reason, it was always off...until that show I went to where it finally CLICKED, and it was astounding in its beauty. Finally, the harmony was nailed, and it was sublime. As fans, we were there with them, and the triumph was ours to share. Name another live experience as intimate as that, with as many people in attendance. Usually, there's a linear relation between audience size and intimacy -- not so with Phish. Whether it's 25,000 or 180,000 people, everyone shared in the groove, from hand signals to lightstick throwing, to organized audience chants and band/audience chess games, we were always included in the band's plan.

Everything good has a bad side. Did the scene get too large? Had Phish finally run out of good ideas for music? Had they just grown up too much? Did Trey just enjoy playing with Dave Matthews so much in Africa that he got tired of the juggernaut that is Phish? Is Fish's muumuu finally falling apart for good? For relevance reasons, they decided it was in everyone's best interests to pull the plug for good.

I read on rec.music.phish that someone's prediction for Phish's last song in the last set of the last day of Coventry is that they'll play "Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress)" with a "Thriller" segue, just like the first gig at the ROTC dance they played in 1983 where they played "Long Cool" (with a hockey stick mic stand) before someone pulled the plug on the PA and put on "Thriller" as a replacement. This poster said that it would be apt if they played the two songs, put down the instruments, shrugged, and walked away. 21 years, hundreds of songs, great art and T-shirts, revolutionary marketing, a great documentary, and just providing and maintaining a rewarding musical experience for anyone willing to share in it, I don't really care what they play. Just enjoy that they're playing, and get the download of the show from Live Phish.

For all those fans that will miss the band, you've got some hundreds of shows of unique performances to sift through. Share in the groove.

Let's do the time warp again > Wow, I can't believe it's been over a month since my last post. In that time, I went to Toronto, lost a heat pump, had the dining room ceiling collapse, ate lots of sushi (good!), had power steering failure on my little blue fire-breathing monster, and watched the Avalanche lose to the Damned San Jose Sharks.

I will definitely post some writings on our drive to Canada, and will likely post those as a multi-part series for those interested in Canuck things.

The worm turns > Great. I now officially work for a Giant Corporate Clusterfuck. Not by choice, mind you; my company was bought by a bigger fish, so to speak. In: tons of educational benefits (FREE DEGREES, CERTIFICATIONS), out: every kind of occupational freedom. Maybe a FedEx envelope will show up for me one day...

Toronto in 2 weeks. Pretty stoked, but, as usual, everything is overshadowed by the wedding. Should we vacation while we're scrimping and saving everything for the wedding? Conventional wisdom says "no," but my sanity level says "yes."

Off to excavate another room. Am I happy?

Troy 1, Bad Guy 1 > Well, I guess it's a draw. The asshole that stole my check card hasn't been caught, but my bank credited back the amount stolen, so I'm back to where I was, pre-thievery. Sometimes, you just have to wait for Karma to give the bad guys wedgies, if you can't find them to do it yourself.